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Monday, September 22, 2008

How (Not) To Break Up With Someone

Feeling a bit nostalgic tonight after hearing a coupla stories about people I know who had recently broken up. It's never a clean getaway. Or if you're on the other side of the fence, It's never that easy to understand.
Being 7 months shy of the big 3-0 (April next year), I wouldl like to impart some knowledge on the art, or the lack of, of breaking up with someone.
Brace yourselves, for these are not mere theoretical or conceptual tips. They were tried and tested, with the defensive wounds to prove it.


Here's how NOT to break up with someone.


1. Tell her you're not the right guy for her after sticking your tongue down her throat in the middle of the dance floor, completely intoxicated by a birthday boy concoction called the "Graveyard Shift"


2. Telling her it's because you're uncomfortable being a Malay boyfriend sized up against her 3 chinese doctor elder brothers


3. Leave her by the side of the road, pulling hairs and clawing away with an unknown crazy woman who apparently is her ex boyfriend's current girlfriend at 3 am along Jalan Jelatek. At least break up the fight and drop her off somewhere safer.


4. Blame it on the FuBu concept that turned ugly. It was always designed to turn ugly.


5. Send her best friend to try and explain to her why you did what you did


6. Over the phone, 12 hours behind in a different timezone


7. At the VIP lounge, after being caught


8. While driving. In your sportscar. With her in the passenger seat.


9. Accuse her of a lying vixen when that you thought she was an aeronautical engineer when she said she worked at an airline.


10. Saying that it's not her...it's YOU.



Good luck, and don't make me say I told you so.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

so were these with 10 different girls or with the same girl over and over? ;)

The Fuzzmeister said...

There were some interesting combos there

Elisa said...

I know each and every person you were refering to in your list...:)

Shall I list them??

The Fuzzmeister said...

It's so scary when your wife can say something like that