The State Of Our Nation's Creativity

Creativity comes from a conflict of ideas.

-         -  Donatella Versace

Aside from the fact that some of us may be astounded by such a profound quote coming from the heavily -botoxed lips of Ms. Donatella, it does sort of have an ironic ring to it when you think about it especially considering Malaysia’s current state of affairs.

I would rather not expunge my thoughts on how creatively impinging our country’s socio-political environment is, especially when any conflict of ideas is either shunned upon or beaten to a pulp with a baton. But there’s this nagging feeling inside of me that Donna may be right after all, despite her taste in designing men’s clothes. But what are the proofs of this? In hindsight, some of the most creative ideas really were born out of conflict.

Tiger Beer capitalised on the never ending conflict of warring tribes of BPL supporters in KL by organising one of the most continuously successful and beer-filled annual campaigns in Malaysia by harnessing conflict into drunken camaraderie, and a chance to ogle at scantily-clad beeristas (I came up with that one myself, teeheehee).

One of the most creative forms of music, rock and roll, was derived from racial and religious conflicts in the ‘50s, where this form of music was once even called the Devil’s music. And today, rock and roll has given birth to some of the most creative minds in music. Heck, even conflicts within rock and roll has spawned splinter groups from heavy metal, white rock, death metal, speed metal, emo rock, grunge etc.

Peter Parker was conflicted by Uncle Ben’s death and decided to be Spider-Man. A web-slinging, web-shooting vigilante. Who would’ve thunk it?

Opposing political parties in Selangor were conflicted and now we get free water. A creative move to win the hearts and minds of voters.

Are we having western or Asian for dinner tonight? And voila, Domino’s offers you a Spicy Sambal pizza.

Think the product is shite? Out comes the best ad campaigns for the world to be satiated.

So how creative are we as a nation you may ask? With all the conflicts that we’ve been seeing, hearing and shouting about, I would say by right we should be a really cracking creative bunch by now.

Maybe we are, but we probably settled somewhere in between public butt exercises and making the tarik in space.

Labor Day 2012

The Evolution of Work

Since the beginning of time, mankind has been cursed to never be able to walk on God’s green earth without the burden of work. Even theological history dictates that our very being in this realm was merely a form of punishment with a life sentence that reads : Lifetime imprisonment, with no parol until….Armageddon. Evicted from a potential life of bliss in heaven, to serve time until time immemorial.

And so it began with our first batch of ancestors who had little else to do but figure out a way to eat, sleep, procreate and survive. Market demand was quite basic, and supply was abundant. And there began the set up of the first 2 departmental positions known to man. Hunters and gatherers. The Job description was simple, focused on specialised. Of course this was also the beginning of the term “being pigeon-holed” as there was not much room for interdepartmental secondments. Unless of course a decline in hunter personnel due to the basic occupational hazard of being eaten alive by a Velociraptor.

Fast forward to the dawn of enlightenment in ancient Mesopotamia and by this era, choosing your profession was next to impossible, as ancient Mesopotamian or Sumerian Kings dumping you into lame positions like ‘giant rock puller’ or ‘sacrificial lamb’ and sometimes, if you’re lucky, the princess’ eunuch. The concept of a decline letter was unheard of, since the head of affairs usually hold the trump card of being proclaimed God On Earth For All Eternity.

During the Middle Ages, we started taking the work-life balance to an extreme level whereby your lifestyle (or religion for that matter) literally dictated on whether you land a good job, or whether your whole village gets burned down to the ground. Word also has it, that it was during this time that predicated the origin of the term “it’s my head on the chopping block”. Somewhere in Spain, the first Domestic Inquiry concept was introduced with outstanding results, known today as the Spanish Inquisition.

And so we trudged along through the Great Depression, a couple of World Wars, the rise of agrarian communities and the dawn of commercialism. At every step of the way with less physical burden on the common individual, leaving more to gain and much more to lose. The 70’s provided a brief moment of communal freedom of spirit and soul, but alas, only for a brief moment.

Today, as we look back at the concept of man’s relationship with the universe, we can’t and should not help but wonder if it all’s starting to make sense. The idea of savouring the fruits of our labour seems to be hugely disconnected and most times, we don’t even have the time to savour the fruit, since we’re so caught up labouring away for God knows what at the end of the day.

So what’s Labour Day to you then, my friends? If you start treating it like an annual conjugal visit within your life sentence, then you surely have gotten it all wrong, and perhaps, lost the plot. As for me, I’d take it with a pinch of salt and spend the day working on my ultimate master plan of how to stop working and start living, period. 

And while I’m at it, avoid going to KLCC or any malls for that matter. 

Earth Day 2012

Happy Birthday, Mom!

While Malaysia struggles with its NEPs, NKRAs, GTPs and ETPs, China’s 5-year plan which was launched in 2011, included the KPI of controlling the weather to artificially increase rain and precipitation in China by 10% by the year 2015.

Where do we draw the line, you may think. Is it wise to tamper with the old lady? Harnessing nature’s energy was relatively OK for Mother Nature, since it’d be just like dating the nerdy kid to get your project paper submission done on time. Things like taming wild, hormonal river tides to create electricity for us, capturing solar energy to generate virtually limitless power. Yes, we certainly got that far and it was A-OK, tree-hugger certified wholesome goodness for mankind.

But what if you start screwing around with the whole system then ey? Are we worthy of nudging her over to ride shotgun while we take the stick in the driver’s seat for a while? Sure, we’ve already been screwing with the system ages ago what with plastic bags, cigarette butts, oil spills etc. But those were sort of like running around the house with a football and knocking over a vase or something. This however, the desire to control the weather, or North Korea’s nefarious plan to pull the moon out of its orbit, or even cloning. Now that’s more like an armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon.

If Mother Nature was really a woman, we jolly well wooed her, married her and ended up pimping her for the whole neighbourhood to have a go.

But maybe that’s why we’re going through such crazy PMS-like rage in the past few decades. Hurricanes, tsunamis, volcanoes and not to mention weird stories like a pack of monkeys attacking a minister in India until he falls to his death from his balcony. Weird right? I know. She. Is. Pissed.

Since hell hath no fury such as a woman scorned, I’d be steering clear and way from her PMS induced rampage for now and the future. I could feel like she’s watching as I decide where to flick my ciggie butt to, or where I was going to put that empty can of coke, either in the dumpster or a recycling bin. Because nowadays, it’s like Mother Nature repays you back in cash, just like a pack of monkeys coming out of nowhere and literally backing you into a corner to your death.

Other interesting wraths by the old lady also includes:

·         In 1783 an Icelandic eruption threw up enough dust to temporarily block out the sun over Europe. Like one of her no-touchy-feely-until-you-know-what-you-did, mister episodes.

·         About 20 to 30 volcanoes erupt each year, mostly under the sea. Like stealthy, didn’t-know-it-until-its-too-late PMS.

·         American Roy Sullivan has been struck by lightning a record seven times. And just like foolish Roy, we still come back for more.

·         About 30% of Christmas Island is now owned by Yellow Crazy Ants, known to take up to 3 square meters of ant hill turf per day. They got there accidentally when some of the decided to hitchhike on a truck to the island. Like when she assumes total domination after getting a copy of “our” keys to the apartment.

So as we celebrate Earth Day this month, let us not only reflect on saving cute dolphins, or planting a tree with your neighborhood celebrity minister in front of the press. Let’s celebrate the true meaning of Mother Nature’s maternal instincts, and womanly fury. 

Yet Another Day That's All About Her

Leo Tolstoy once quoted. “When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, 'Do what you like now”

Truth is, men know exactly how they feel and think about women. The difference is, we know when to keep our mouths shut. Probably that’s why good ol’ Leo decided that his last hurrah would be a long list of advice for the betterment of his remaining brotherhood, with a really good exit plan for the whistleblowing.

So it’s International Women’s Day on March 8^th. A day when all of men-hood will stop and shout to the heavens, passive aggressively of course, “Wait! Do I have to get her a gift for this one too?” One may wonder whether it’ll ever be enough. From Birthdays, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Anniversaries, Engagement parties, Baby Showers – there is always another occasion and reason to stop, look, listen and appreciate your woman for what she is, who she is, and all the sacrifices that she has done for you.

But hold your horses, ladies. The history of International Women’s Day started back in the early 1900’s, when angry undergarment workers went on strike for poor working conditions and low wages. They were fighting for equality in fair treatment and wages just like other men were.

Women have come a long way from burning bras. Nowadays, they’re either secretly and gleefully buying RM500 frillies from Victoria’s Secret online, or finding any excuse not to wear one. It’s a different ballgame for both boys and girls out there now. We walk a fine line between male dominance and female equality in these troubled, confusing times.

Julianna Mendelsohn from Chicago wrote to Esquire online that “Sometimes we want to be treated like a princess, and sometimes we want to be treated like a sex object. It’s up to you to know when, ‘cause I sure won’t be the one to tell you.”

Just like those times when they won’t tell you what’s wrong (Nothing).

Just like those times when they don’t really want to know how they look like in those jeans (Or they don’t really want to know what you really think of how they look like in those jeans)

Or like those times that they won’t tell you what today is and what you should have remembered today is.

There are a lot of things that remains unspoken yet universally expected to be understood. It’s a tug of war between men and women that we just so lovingly and willingly participate in, and fall for time and again. For women it’s like finishing a checklist successfully and being pleased with herself. For men, it’s like frolicking in a picturesque field, filled with fire ants and rabid prairie dogs. Such is the magnetic pull of a woman.

She is woman, hear her roar. And on the 8^th or March, they roar in unison. To be heard silently, just as she has when she keeps to her side of the bed and mumbles “Nothing” when you asked her what’s wrong.

So hats off to Tolstoy for sharing whatever he could have before he cowardly jumped in and nailed himself safely from a woman’s scorn. Smart man, that one.  And after this article, I may need to think of setting up a new email account and a new identity while I’m at it.

Happy Women’s Day ladies!