I think Ludicrous literally encapsulated the one and only request men ever had in fulfilling their dreams : A Lady On The Streets, And A Freak In The Bed. Simple right? Of course. We’re guys. We like to keep it simple.
But what about what the ladies want? In any given women’s magazine, the list of criterias are rarely lesser than 5 points. Caring, funny, adventurous, stable, great smile, g
ood teeth, clean nails, short hair, long hair, bad boy, good career, abs, car etc. There’s something about women and ticking boxes.
I wonder if us guys ever had our tickbox moments. As simple as we want things to be (read : first paragraph) – I still believe unknowingly, we had our tickbox moments. But those moments were for specific situations, specific locations and specific agendas only. Not life-defining moments. But important ones none the less. Here are some examples:
FIRST DATE
1. Boobies
a. Same as Facebook picture
b. Slightly smaller (may be compensated by cicrumference of derriere)
2. Breath
a. Kissable (good)
b. Last night's Tequila (even better)
3. Walking
a. Sways hips sexily (good)
b. Causes whiplash to passers by (keep)
4. Attire
a. Low neckline (score on 2nd date)
b. Turtleneck (save money - requires Vodka for 2nd date)
IN THE CLUB
1. Boobies
a. Real Cleavage
b. Padded
2. Drink
a. Vodka-Ribena (6/10)
b. Cocktails (4/10 = Expensive cock-tease)
c. Beer (8/10 = Cheap date, but may lead to excessive burping during romp)
d. Whisky Coke (9/10)
e. Tequila Shots (10/10)
3. Dance
a. Dances like a stripper when drunk (10/10)
b. Dances like a stripper when sober (1000/10)
4. Entourage
a. Hot friends (send bottle over)
b. Surrounded by fugitives from Jabatan Imigresen Malaysia (buy only her, a drink)
5. Accommodation
a. Own apartment (score!)
b. Shares with hot housemates, also in club (send 5 bottles over, and re-enact moves from last 3some video by memory)
So is there a CLEO magazine in all of us? Hard to tell, but one thing’s for sure, no matter how much ticking in we do, boys and girls, or for whatever reasons they may be (future husband, flava of the month, something for the weekend) – our list of demands will never be satisfied as we go tickbox our way through life. Embrace what you have for the whole, which is greater than the sum of its parts. Even though that part DOES look bigger in her Facebook picture J
