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Sunday, March 6, 2011

Life's Hidden Lessons


They say life teaches you along the way in the most unsuspecting ways in our daily lives. You just gotta stop, take notice and acknowledge it along the way. But are we taking in the right lessons from the right situations? As menly men as we men are, do we also get lost in translation when life itself is trying to tell us something and we go “uh-huh…uh-huh, that’s great honey.”. Then when challenged to explain what it is we were just presented with…we spin a story so way off that she just submits and goes away.

I believe I’ve had the privilege of noticing life’s little lessons along the way. Whether they’re right or wrong, or whether the message got totally misconstrued by yours truly, and my guardian angel goes “Ok, that’s it, I’m requesting for a transfer. Good luck, you retard.” – It’s totally up to me. MY experiences, and therefore I GET TO INTERPRET IT IN ANY WAY I’D LIKE TO.

For example, on a badly planned trip to a beach resort on the East Coast last month, I noted that things that are built beautifully to capture and enjoy the sun, becomes one of the shittiest piece of architecture in the rain. See? Genius.

It doesn’t matter how far, how fast, or how hard you jog, bike, run on Sunday mornings. If the direction is headed towards a nasi lemak stall for tapau-ing, you might as well stay in bed and find out exactly where that scrotum itch was coming from last night.

No matter how accurate virtual City Golf at BSC is, you can never invent a mobile table with La Bodega snacks and booze to attach to your golf buggy to take to a real golf course. Hence your crappy scores in real life.

You can never make Maggi Goreng at home that’s as good as any mamak stalls out there.

No matter how many brands of kicap you buy and try, none can match the way the one at your local kopitiam make the half boiled eggs taste so good.

Vampires have replaced the Jews running the movie industry. And they’re conditioning mankind for a global takeover with an ongoing ‘vampires are sexy’ campaign.

There are only 2 ways to dispose of a cigarette butt the manly way : flicking to a challenging target and nailing it spot on, or stubbing it out with a few hard rubs into an ashtray while gruffly ending your conversation with a punchline. Any other methods are for fags smoking fags.

Beware of men who keeps whining the’yre size is not big enough. Means they’ve been checking out other men’s schlongs since they sound like they had a lot to compare with. Possibly yours, too.

It doesn’t matter if you play in the woods half naked with other men. If you can change into a big ass werewolf while jumping in mid air, no one will question you.

So you see guys, it’s not always a matter of perspective. But it is always a matter of OUR perspective. Carpe diem and seize the day they say. The question is, are you going to seize whatever they say you should be seizing, or should we all spice it up a bit and navigate our way through life with our own custom set of google-goggles? Either way, there’s a lesson to be picked up at every corner. But it depends on what you’re willing to learn.

And here comes the end of the first quarter of 2011 already. Have a good March chaps.

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