The Art Of War

The key to successful marketing is to eliminate the competitors from our target's mindspace. What this means is literally kicking any memory, positive feelings, or any association to the competitor's brand, ads, logo or sloppy slogans, out of the way.

At a recent birthday party, I had a very interesting conversation with an ex-colleague of mine. She got to the topic of how she managed to successfully conquer the full capacity of her (then guy-she-wanted-to hook-up-with, turned boyfriend, and now husband)'s brain by destroying the competition.

Story starts with her already sort of knowing the guy, and they were at a party . Enter intelli-skank, in the form of a 5'10", overly-rebonded hair executive of a woman who snaps her neck at a 40 degree angle everytime she laughs just so that her hair could demonstrate it's fully conditioned salon-treatment-at-home look (no offence, Vidal Sassoon - or was it VO5?).

Upon eavesdropping, my friend learns that intelli-skank was going full-on about politics, the decline of the world's social structure and the financial crisis befalling developed nations. The whole time whiplashing a few waiters passing by and annoying the rest of the world with her put-on Chelsea accent and glowing in her intelli-skankness.

A smart strategic planner such as my friend knew that the only way to counter offensive a competitive intruder is to lie in wait beyond the grass plains like a lioness and let all the hot air steam out before striking for the jugular. And true enough, the hot air subsided as intelli-skank excused herself to go to the ladies.

My friend proceeded to walk up to Mr. Oblivious-to-fake-skanks and clinked her glass with his and gestured for a toast. "What were you guys talking about?". "Politics. World hunger. She really was very enthusiastic about those topics. I could see by the way she was telling me all about those things."

My friend nodded, then put her glass on the bar top, and pulled his ear as close to her lips as possible.

"I like porn."

Brilliant.