How to be a Malay businessman

Sometimes I feel a bit out of place in meetings. Most times, I try my best to blend in so as to not offend or even make the other party feel awkward. Most people would feel out of place in a circle or in front of a foreign audience.

I on the other hand, sometimes find it difficult to blend into my own kind.

So today, I decided to sit down and go through the changes that I may need to consider to extricate myself from who I think I am, and delve into the makings of the ultimate Malay businessman.

Step 1: Grow a moustache, or simply shave my moustache and grow a pubic like goatee.

Step 2: Get a phone carrier that attaches to my belt. The bulkier the better.

Step 3: Invest in a silver bracelet. The chunkier the better.

Step 4: Pluralise words whenever I can. Example - "May I helps you?"

Step 5: Use a brown belt with black leather shoes

Step 6: Wear torquise colored shiny slacks and match them with pastel colored shirts

Step 7: Buy another handphone

Step 8: Use ultra cool colored lanyards for my security pass

Step 9: Keep a golf set in the trunk of my car - always

Step 10: Set my ring tone to the latest Maroon 5 hit

I guess that's all for stage 1 of my transformation required. The second phase of my transformation will go deep into communication language, semantics and intonation and not to forget physical gestures.

Stay tuned.\